Christmas Past

The days before Christmas always seemed to be a hive of activity. A huge build up to the big day.

There were some traditional stuff that, of course, happened every year. Christmas records were pulled out of the closet and played while we got the tree out and decorated. I remember the tree had a hidden brown plastic pine cone on the trunk of the tree. I suppose it used to give off a pine scent but it smelled of nothing to me.

I loved seeing all the lights and when I was older Mom and I would go out driving, we knew all the good places to go see Christmas lights. Some houses it was almost like daylight with all the lights that were on and around their houses.

Christmas also meant baking. Soon as I was old enough I started baking stuff myself. The older I got the more elaborate the baking got. I remember making four different kinds of bread one year and five or six types of cookies. Then there was the year I made a two layer vanilla cake, after both layers had been baked and cooled (in the cake tins) I used a two pronged fork and made lots of holes in each layer. I then made red and green Jello. Then poured each color over a layer of cake, after the Jello set I put the cake together. To everyones surprise when the cake was cut there were red and green lines in the cake.

Dad and I teamed up to make stuff for Christmas as well. We had a load of successful attempts, black-forest cake with cherries was one. But I remember our failed attempt to make stuffed mushrooms. I can’t remember what we were going to make the stuffing with apart from some kind of shellfish. We put the stuffing mix into the blender for god knows what reason. I’m blaming the shellfish for the fact that the stuffing turned a very appetizing (not) shade of snot green. So it was a good thing we burned the mushrooms I very much doubt anyone would have wanted one.

One tradition that lasted up until my last Christmas was that I wasn’t allowed into the living room until Dad was up. Mom would be up first and turn on all the lights on the tree. I could see the tree as I went into the kitchen and it never lost it’s magical appeal. We also would take a break half way through opening gifts to have fresh piping hot pastry.

My last Christmas at home was bitter sweet. Looking back on it, it seems a bit surreal. Two things that stand out from the rest. Knowing it was my last Christmas day at home, in the house I grew up in, I wanted everything to be perfect, a perfection that never really ever happens except in movies.

I have to set the scene first. The house had a huge living room, with an equally huge front window. Our tree always was in front of the big window, it was then moved into a corner after we opened our gifts so there was more room when all the family would arrive.

The morning of my last Christmas at home was just like all the rest. I’d had my shower and was just coming out of the bathroom when Mom appeared laughing about something. She managed to tell me that while moving the tree into the corner part of the stand had broken and the whole tree fell on her. The mental image of her flat on her stomach pinned under our fake Christmas tree made me laugh as well. I do have to admit I did have a passing moment of being upset, my perfect last Christmas wish had been dented!

I also remember writing my new address over and over again. Feeling a weird mix of excitement thinking and talking about my upcoming adventure. But I also started to feel the reality of what I was doing and I felt the weight of it all. I also felt the weight of my last Christmas at home and felt a bit sad.

After everyone had left Mom and I flopped on the couch, tired from the busy day. I then gave her, her big gift of the year. A lovely table lamp that has a white glass shade and a beaded fringe. We had a little cry over everything. We sat there in that special comfortable silence, the kind you only seem to get with a very small amount of people who come into your life. So there we sat, saying nothing, looking at the drunkenly listing, broken Christmas tree in the corner.

Merry Christmas.