This year I turned 40. I had one moment of “oh fuck I’m 40!” I started to think of all the stuff I hadn’t accomplished and worried about all the stuff I’d put off and how old I suddenly felt. It passed as quickly as it appeared. But it did make me take stock of things and it also made me realize that I hadn’t seen my parents in a very long time.
So I told M that I’d like nothing more than to go home for a visit. It was my only birthday request.
Here I sit at my Moms house, feeling comfortable in my own skin and feeling that I have been able to come home and nothing much has changed. The landscape has changed, time passes, things move on. That’s okay, most of the things that have changed for the better. Some things I’m sad to see go but that’s the way with life nothing can stay the same forever. God wouldn’t it be boring if nothing changed?
I still have almost a week left of my holiday and it will be nice to be busy but also to just know that I can just sit here and watch the world go by from the couch.
It may not be the home of my youth, the home of my early adult life, but it’s still home.