Jun 292009
Jun 292009
Spell check, the best invention of the 20th century, in my humble opinion. But I’ve noticed that it will throw out at me some of the oddest choices for how to fix my bad spelling. Now I will admit that I can’t spell my way out of a paper bag, nor could I spell to save my own life let alone the life of another person. So if you ever find yourself with some freak holding a gun to your head asking how to spell some amazing long and complicated word… don’t phone me, you’ll just end up dead.
I’ll freely admit that I do often stump spell check and have to have a second go at spelling my word before it will even attempt to give me a suggestion. And there is the problem because when spell check goes bad you can end up with some utter and amazing gibberish.
For example, I live not far away from a town called Birkenhead, out of the choices that I am given for this ‘misspelling’ I have some normal ones, Birkenstock, Maidenhead, Brokenhearted… okay so maybe Maidenhead is a bit odd when I think about it, it doesn’t start with a B and the other two choices do but you know B and M are on the same line so in a vague way it makes sense. It’s the last choice that makes me giggle and wonder at the same time… the last choice you ask? Chickenhearted! Yes folks I can call you a chickenhearted monster and spell check will be quite happy with that. I’m not all that sure why anyone would use chickenhearted in anything but you know, to each their own.
I know using Birkenhead is probably a bad example, someone is saying “It’s a place name of course it’s not going to be there!” but my point is that Birkenhead is paired with Chickenhearted which is just… some how funny and wrong.
The best spell check oddness is on my Blackberry (which amazingly enough spell check knows and offers no odd choice for misspellings). I’m not overly sure that my phone isn’t just mocking me and my awful spelling. Those of you who know me, know that my phone is never far out of reach and if I don’t have a computer near by I have the phone. Some would say it’s attached to me.
Regardless of this when sending texts agreeing with someone and typing in okey dokey I do in fact WANT to say okey dokey and NOT Obey Donkey thank you very much lovely phone of mine.
Today however I’ve found the best suggestion to a misspelled word thanks to my wonderful shiny phone. While tweeting (Definition of Tweeting ‘to tweet or to reply to someone using the program Twitter) someone we were talking about gargoyles, as I was sure that I’d misspelled gargoyles off to the trusty(?) spell check I go.
Me: Mr spell check how do you spell gargoyals please?
SC: You have two choices m’dear you have the correct spelling which is gargoyles and you can also have mmm lets see *digs around in bag* ah you can have Craig as well.
Me:…… whu? Gargoyles and Craig?! *boggles*
So I’ll leave you with a perfect sentence thanks to spell check:
When in Chickenhearted check out the Craig’s on one of the near by buildings, obey donkey?
Jun 222009
Cheryl and I clearly spend to much time talking to each other online. What is below is a typical snippet of conversation between the two of us, where neither of us really has anything to say (aka can’t brain) but we aren’t fed up with each other enough yet to say we are going……
Tiff says: ummm wtf?
Cheryl says: Well you never know when you are going to want a bar installed into your house lol
Tiff says: I hear the convo now
Hey bob great bar where did you get it
got it off Amazon Frank
Cheryl says: Yeah it’s great that site isn’t it Bob
Tiff says: Well you know Frank always having to one up Bob went on to Amazon and bought himself this Franks Bar
Tiff says: But Joe has been to parties at both Frank and Bob’s house and thought he had the best bar EVAR Joe’s bar
Cheryl says: Great deal – he did get 50% off so well done Bob lol
Tiff says: I’m so blogging this convo
Jun 132009
A few weeks ago I went shopping for new plants and lights for the back garden. What follows is the conversation my Brain had with it’s self.
*Brain* Weeeee!! Going shopping, going shopping, gonna by shiny things! Gonna by plants, gonna make the back yard look pretty again! Go go go come on lets go zoooooooom!
*Me* Must remember that I can’t spend the national debt in flowers and lights, really need to only get a couple of things, don’t need to get that much stuff.
*Brain and Me* driving driving driving, parking….
*Brain* Oh YAY we’re here flowers, shiny things, lights, flowers, trees, tables, chairs…..
*Me* Oh that’s a nice chair, I’ll have to remember to price that up on my way back this way.
*Brain* Come on come onnnnn wanna look at the shiny things out side…Ooooo watering can! Need one of those and it’s HUGE!!! ‘commands body to grab watering can and put in basket’ mmmm the shiny green watering can is ours!
*Me* hmmm pretty sure that watering can isn’t going to fit in the sink, and I’m sure that 12 on the side means how much it holds….’distracted by Brain jibbering about flowers’
*Brain and Me* flowers flowers picks out flowers and lights.
*Me* okay that’s enough, the basket looks like a forest and I’m tired lets go pay for this stuff and get out of here.
*Brain* awwww but… okay I’m kinda tired now too
*Brain and Me* oooops how much?
‘Time moves a long, plants have been planted and it’s time to use the new shiny Green Watering can’
*Brain busy looking smug*
*Me* I’m really sure this …’Thunk’ ahh see Brain I told you it wouldn’t fit in the sink to fill it!
*Brain* whoops… use the jug use the jug still save time watering!!
*Me* Good idea…*uses jug until watering can is full to the top*
*Me* unnngahhmm Brain that’s HEAVY! I knew that the 12 on the side also meant something!
*Brain* ummm well ummm I can’t help you with that, you’re just gonna have to make more trips aren’t you?
*Me* Brain some day I will stab you with a spork……
Jun 122009
Mal and I have had a week off work. Most of it has been spent being lazy and avoiding all forms of effort unless it meant eating or sleeping. So it has been a good week off.
Today though started the great clean up, and we started off in fine form with a car load of stuff to take to the dump! Two hallways are now totally clear of crap and there is only one left but that will take a bit more work as it’s the hall way that leads to Mals computer room and his games/hifi/projection room. It was a good effort for the two of us lazy bones and I don’t know about him but it was a nice feeling to get rid of so much crap!
I have said for a few years now, we don’t live in a house, we live in an expensive storage container. I’m hoping now that’s going to start to change. We are both pack rats and like our junk but there comes a time when you’ve got to let go of some of it, if only to make room for new junk. It’s way past time for that kind of turn around.
I’m slowly cleaning up and clearing out the craft room/spare bedroom while Mal slowly sorts through all the stuff that he moved out of the computer room so he could decorate in there a while back. I’m hoping we can both let go of a lot of stuff that we don’t need anymore.
In other news…..
I seem to be back in the land of the living almost full time these days. I can still have the odd crash day and still find I get tired a bit to fast for my liking but I’ve decided that enough is in fact enough and I’m just not going to play this tired game any longer. Three more months and I’m off the pills but I go back to the docs in July for a check up. The Doc is still checking my thyroid for signs of it not working right. Part of me hopes that is part of the problem, at least that way there’ll be a reason behind all of this crap. But really the main thing is I’m feeling better and more alive.
I’ve also been doing an Open University course the last few months it’s all done online which is nice. It’s in Digital Photography. That finishes next month and I’ve really been enjoying it, but also can’t wait for it to be over! Thanks to the course though I’ve managed to sell my first photo! £45 for an 8×10 framed! I’m pretty excited about this and as soon as I can I’ll post the photo here so you can all see it.
Work is work, I enjoy the people and hate the drama they create all at the same time. But I suppose this is what happens when you put a bunch of people together who probably would choose to be in the same room with each other. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t most of the people I would with I would choose to be in the same room with (well okay two of them I would, one I’m not so sure of, two I’d first be glad to be in the same room then want to claw my own eyeballs out of my head and one … just don’t go there). Work is kindly paying for me to do an NVQ (National Vocational Qualification) in Business Administration Level 2. I get to do this in work time and if I do any of it at home I can claim what ever time back from work. Can’t ask for more than that now can you? And once I’ve finished Level 2 in just short of a year I can go on and do Level 3 which I plan on doing.
Last month I painted the garden walls with help from Mals Mum and Dad. I’ve bought a load of new plants and new lighting for out back as well. It looks so nice now and I really enjoy sitting here on the couch and looking out the back door to see my little oasis of colors and green in what’s mostly a concrete jungle around here. We have new chairs for outside as well and as soon as it’s a bit warmer out there I’m planning on spending more time outside and less time in front of this thing.